foreword
ぜんかい -- ゼンカイ
no longer yearning. what have we not done before?
"the world is really but the stage - create the most fulfilling play"
If you're a thief, master the art of thievery.
A psychotic mind leaves no room for regrets.
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Zheng Kai
01.11.1989
CHS - AJC
RevoAct
AJChoir
1st Tenor
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footnote
© Copyrights:
Original layout
Content & Images
Chok Zheng Kai, 2008
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Sunday, January 14, 2007
my lil bro and my new fav song! lol i noe its been on the charts for quite some time but i love the descending notes parts. haha.
Take That - Patience
Just have a little, patience I'm still hurting from a love I lost, I'm feeling your frustration, But any minute all the pain will stop, Just hold me close inside your arms tonight, dont be too hard on my emotions
(Chorus) Cause I, need time, My heart is numb, has no feeling, So while I'm still healing, Just try and have a little patience,
I really wanna start over again, I know you wanna be my salvation, The one that I can always depend, I'll try to be strong, believe me, I'm trying to move on, It's complicated but understand me,
Cause I, need time, My heart is numb has no feeling, So while I'm still healing, Just try and have a little patience yeah, Have a little patience,
Yeah Cause this scar runs so deep, It's been hard, But I have to believe,
Have a little patience, Have a little patience,
wooh Cause I, I just need time, My heart is numb has no feeling, So while I'm still healing, Just try, and have a little patience, Have a little patience,
My heart is numb has no feeling, So while I'm still healing Just try and have a little... Patience
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met up with uncle sam on both sat and sun. sat for a nice dinner and chat... sun to send him to the airport coz he's gg back to taiwan alr he is like the best company anyone can have.. having him around raised standards of hospitality, kindness and sincerity by leaps. no wonder my body had the energy to wake up at 9 today jus to sent him off too. amazing rite. even my mum was surprised, normally i wud wake at 1pm.
been really tired and restless this few days dunno why too.. then at late at night i have this crazy thing gg on where i will jus go crazy and high.. excited abt everything tt is happening even if im alone =/ gw shud noe. think i was crazy on the fone last nite haha.
and of course my new eye candy. the new nokia n76. omg, its more than eye candy i wanna have it already. it will prolly take quite a while to be released. and my, the price will be high tts also jus nice coz CNY is ard the corner.. plus a few more months of savings.. mebbe i can jus trade in and get tt fone haha..
thank gdness there are things to look forward too.. went to the temple today.. actually told god in my prayer tt i feel this yr didnt start on the best note.. but i believe it will become even more fulfilling than last yr but wadever it is.. im thankful for everything n everyone.. please everyone remain blissful and all hhaha. the bottomline to jc life is tt u never noe wads gonna happen next.. so just enjoy the moment.. seriously. i cant belive im saying this but prime youth is actually slipping away haha.
watched 2 new bleach eps yest happy with the fact fillers r over.. but something in the show caught me.. is our history and fate a circle, or a line extending out to infinity.. and if it's a circling endlessly, should we ever try to break out of it? or shud we give everything fate has given us back to fate?
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Saturday, January 13, 2007
after a million years and a million tears (haha jus jking) i finally finished watching the whole 1 litre of tears. stopped at ep 9 for 2 weeks coz sch and choir was jus insanely busy with all the rushing of hmk and the nvr-ending auditions.. haha.. oh well.
must say that the show was not jus some typical soapy depressing show out to make ppl cry. the whole thing abt it based on a true life story of aya is amazing enuf. subconsciously, watching the show has made me value life more and see thru some superficial unhappiness of it.. even though it may sound so cliche and we'll all probably forget wad we learn frm the show after like a few months.. but still its better than nothing. not many shows are so entertaining and carries such a strong message behind it.
here's the difference between becoming emo after watching the show and actually valuing emo-ness after watching it haha. in fact, watching this whole 'dorama' feels like some sort of a small part of the sch's mass civics programme. esp when the class needed to write paragraphs on the 7 key concepts we learnt whilst watching the 'whats right with this world' documentary.
been undoubtedly shagged the whole week. felt like one of the longest weeks ever and im ever thankful the weekends are here but tt jus means time is passing faster than before. haha. its back to rushing all those hmk again.. whether old or new. how i wish i could jus use my newly attained deathnote to write in the names of the hmk and they will jus perish haha..
og outing on thur was fun and crazy too. crazy in the sense i got to wear my full cat high uni with badges and all.. and actually went strutting around junction 8 ahha. the shorts were a good ventilation tool but unfortunately it was such a cold rainy day the cool ventilation soon turned to unbearable freezing of legs. ahha.
actually im still trying to get used to the fact how to use 'this yr', 'next yr' and 'last yr' properly haha. when teachers say IMF world bank thing was 'last yr', it took me while before realising its already 2007. haha. it will take some time lah. and my busy n hectic schedule jus makes the whole idea of time and space more confusin lol.
2007. wad kind of yr will u turn out for me? perhaps the things i have been searching for in 2006 have changed.. certain things which i do more often have now decreased in frequency... interests might have changed. direction could have differed, and emphasis now varies. jus take blogging for an eg.
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Friday, January 05, 2007
Orientation is over??!? its damn fast omg totally cant settle down yet. esp when i think abt the hmk. and im starting to miss those AZTECIANS already. omg can we pls pls have a outing soon ahahha.
cant wait to see those peeps in sch and wave hi to them.
cant wait to talk to them again. haha. even though we didnt win anything except for the best monument thingy lol, but i think for most of us it was more than enough. i mean.. we even as ogls came into this thingy not knowing wad to expect and all. having come this far is alr commendable. at least tts wad i feel.
but i think im really lucky. to have those peeps as my og members. they themselves are quite social and enthu to a certain extent compared to others alr! rly happy abt tt. thanks!
come to think of it. its still all abt those silly stuff n crazy shouting cheers that we do... however stupid it may sound, u can deny the fact it actually bonds ppl. its jus the mood and who else is doing these silly things with u. at least now i can proudly say i love one more grp. my og Aztec. =)
"Sing me something soft, sad and delicate or loud and out of key. Sing me anything. We're glad for what we've got, done with what we've lost. Our whole lives laid out right in front of us." - aggie (from dunno where)
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Tuesday, January 02, 2007
people keep complaining my blog is dead. ahha actually i agree it is dead. 2006 is over. as much as i wud still conveniently forgot and write my dates as 06, but its a fact i cant escape thats its the 2nd of jan today and school is reopening tml.
currently, exactly half of me want to go to sch and start all that hectic life all over again, and the other half party animal of me wanna stay around and laze more, and probably involve myself in more parties. haha, but i guess we all dun have much of a choice.. do we?
had a really interesting dream yesterday. probably something that made me click blogger.com to actually come here to start an entry. i wud call it a nightmare. but it wasnt scary or i didnt feel any extreme emotion of fear in the dream. perhaps this is wad they call that numb and emotionless. it was also one of those dreams tt after i wake up i cud still rmb most of its details.
it all started with my family and some relatives tgth with some choir peeps going to another country. it was obviously a foreign land, some weird place that looked european/western but most of the time inhibited by asians. it was probably supposed to be a holiday but after a while we knew we were there for another darker reason and the hol mood was nvr there to begin with.
then one evening we were all sitting down in an open area dining. many tables were lined up in rows and it was hard to see where each row ended coz of it sheer no of tables. there were alot of random ppl ard us. and somehow i wasnt mixing ard with the choir peeps. i was in fact, sitting next to my auntie who was whispering something into my mum's ear. then about 10 tables down the row, suddenly a few men wearing black blazers stood up and somehow this caught the attention of my mum. the next thing i knew we were all on the run in a van.
the van stopped at this hospital. it was weird coz the hospital's 2nd floor had a tour agency. and the building was almost empty except of the few of us who just reached. somehow the whole journey on the van and dining experience sort of put a rough image of wad is happening into my mind. i have no idea who told me or how i figured out. but wad was at the back of my mind was that someone in our grp had somth got to do with those men in black, and we r escaping them becoz they apparently threatened somth, and wad was to happen frm here on is extremely dangerous.
but somehow i wasnt scared. not the least bit. i wasnt even happy i was there. it was just like stepping into room, nothing happy or to be sad about. i probably wanted to tok to someone and that was when i found out there was no one except a few of my uncles with me. then suddenly, from a corner of the corridor alot of ppl emerged, it was my choir peeps and they were holding down one person, gw. they were moving slowly towards the wall. i looked at gw's face and all it showed was almost nothing. perhaps a tinge of depression and guilt, but he didnt put up ny struggle at all. he jus completely gave in to those holding him down.
then suddenly, heavy footsteps and emerged from the corner, then BANG!! it was damn loud. but i wasnt scared at all. i didnt noe why too. my aunt emerged with a gun, the same one lee young-ae used in the movie sympathy for lady vengence. the next thing i knew gw's body was thrown against the wall and bounced back onto the floor. dead. he was shot straight at the head. and i still wasnt feeling scared of even sad. it was weird. ridiculous and unexplainable.
a few sec later i saw ht crying and aggie consoling her. ht was apparently one of those who helped to hold gw down. i cudnt quite get anything tt was gg on now. i saw my mum and i asked her, "what happened?". she turned to me with a face crunched up like she was the one who shot gw instead, and said, "when we left, they (those men in black) told us that perhaps one of us was...."
at that very instant, i was shook awake by my dad coz it was 1pm and im supposed to be lunching alr.
i ate lunch thinking why gw died, perhaps he was a "spy" for those gangsters? i dunno. its still a mystery.
and.. come to think of it.. i rmb chihong saying somth like my rm will soon turn into a nightmarish room wher i will hav nightmares when i sleep. its sorta true. jus the previous night it was a demented gal holding a sword up my neck. but all these are still a far cry frm those typical nightmares where the dreamer wakes up in sweat suddenly..
funny start to 2007 i guess.
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