foreword
ぜんかい -- ゼンカイ
no longer yearning. what have we not done before?
"the world is really but the stage - create the most fulfilling play"
If you're a thief, master the art of thievery.
A psychotic mind leaves no room for regrets.
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Zheng Kai
01.11.1989
CHS - AJC
RevoAct
AJChoir
1st Tenor
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© Copyrights:
Original layout
Content & Images
Chok Zheng Kai, 2008
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Saturday, May 26, 2007
wad a day it was. i originally planned it to be some nice resting-at-home-and acting all guai.. but eugene jus had to go ahead with his crazy plan of gg to downtown east escape theme park today lol. yuhuai turned up too so there we go.. haha.
when we entered escape we spent the whole first part complaining abt why its 16 dollars plus when so many rides are closed and somemore the dark sky looked like its gonna rain lol. we were gonna totally regret entering then we started taking some rides. the viking and the go-cart was the most fun for me haha. we sat the viking twice and yuhuai and eugene says its even more thrilling than the inverter lol. i think thats only a ploy to make me sit inverter (i didnt in the end lol). at the go-cart i jus got into some accident after overtaking yuhuai lol.
some photo that eugene took with yuhuai in blue and im in white (this is the 15m drop). coz he says he's "scared" to go for this wild wet ride, but yet he could go to ride the inverter. =/ after tt we gt bored so we went out in search for kbox. whilst searching we ended up in arcarde which yuhuai jus ddr-ed again haha. so pro. then we went to tampines to find but cundnt find so we ended up in toa payoh kbox. supposed to kbox til 9pm but i gt tuition at 8 so had to come back. haha. wud love to go on singing forever lol. jus love it. like 3 of us holding our own concerts and diva-ing our way thru lol. in all, tenors are jus hyper fun pple who rock. yes, eugene still counts himself as a tenor lol. it was so fun today. i wonder when's the next time we can have such fun again...
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Thursday, May 24, 2007
oh dear.
this week has jus been weird weird and WEIRDER.
besides me finally getting back into the motion of blogging about daily events rather than pumped up overexposed events like choir's, this week has been nevertheless eventful.
its been so crazy. i got back my chinese paper and got a B for it. but then again its a very lucky one. been starting to clear my makeup PEs. as of today im only left with one more. alex lee must be so proud of me. haha. and im finally getting back into the motion of things (hmm. at least for econs and gp) grrr. june must definitely be dedicated to phy and maths. sighs. this term has been really hectic, but somewhat necessary too.
there's jus too many things ongoing i cant seem to operate and function properly now. without choir, there seems to so many other more complicated events unfolding in front of me. i had the econs test on wed and it was a total disaster. probably the worst econs essay/script i have ever written. not that i didnt study at all. but i couldnt really understand the question or link it with wad i noe. but then again im starting to find policy conflicts really fun.. so u see the topsy turvy-ness in me yah.... bleah. im nt exactly making much sense.
oh and on a totally random note. this whole 'depression measure by anatomical regions' jus popped into my alr crazy brain last night. depression can be classified into 7 regions. the legs, the thighs, the abdomen, the stomach, the chest, the face, and the head. the lower the less severe, the higher the worse. physically-induced depression affects the leg region and to solve it u got to drink milo. bad-day-induced depression affects the thighs, and to solve it we got to sleep. chemically-induced depression affects the abdomen and to solve it we got to have a good shower. anxienty-induced depression affects ur stomach, and u got to sit down and think and paint a mental image of wad to expect to solve it. emotionally-induced depression affects the chest, and we got to talk it out with someone to solve it. reality-induced depression affects the face, and to solve it we gt to tear. finally, expectation-induced depression affects the head, and you need to pray. yup. lol.
okay back to earth. other than the hanging lingering feeling of sian-ness in these few afternoons (particularly on wed) which painted a very bleak picture of wad to expect, everything else in the nice sunny mornings have been really positive. except for today.. which i kinda felt very sad after my chinese lesson coz yan lao shi sort of scolded us... hmm.. its been such a long time since she did that. its rly not a nice feeling. to be honest, im still interested in chinese partly becoz of her also. morever she understands how much a performing grp member have to go thru. it was jus very disappointing. sighs. anw b4 that, i met ms leong (principal) one on one in her office. it was regarding pattaya. unexpectedly, she had no problem in letting me go. in fact she was very nice. oh well. so i guess thats the case. no regrets or anything too. i rly wanna fight on with the j1s but there's alot of mixed feelings right now even though my stand doesnt waver...shit why must such things happen now. its so huh.
okay! so i guess thats all. been on this obssession with food and movies these days. jus keep eating and borrowing dvds. have to return one tml or need to pay fine. oh well. nostalgic or unfortunate, some things of the past are freakingly similar to wad is happening now. and it wasnt a good thing back then. i wonder wad will happen...why cant i jus be a naruto and fly off to seek solace in sereitei during the june hols? lol
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Thursday, May 17, 2007
today was the first choir prac we had with mr kwei after syf. its been like more than a week. somehow, something inside me was looking forward to what he had to say. because we know in everyone's minds that gold would really arouse alot of debate and inner struggles, and i really wanted to know what the big man whom we all look to had to say about it.
what he said might not have been really good and flattering, nor something that made everyone go gaga and get to their feet in unwavering support for him.. but call it something personal, it did make an impact on me. and im really glad.
he came thru the corridor into the room with all smiles just like how he used to (forgetting the bad days) and you cud tell he really didnt noe wad exactly to say. but i guess he knew all of us are eagerly waiting to hear wad he had to say abt syf. so he started.. he highlighted 2 main problems tt we faced on 8 may. 1) stage fright 2) pitching. it was a perfectly reasonable stand, knowing how ajchoir always fall prey to these. but he acknowledged that we should be proud of it.. the gold.. and he reiterated that many times. he then went on to say that the judges said we were a clear gold, not a high silver to gold (which some ppl still think. pls stop living in ur own world lol). but probably that high to slip into the honours region. and that the 2nd half of the judging appears to be more strict than the first. but its fine really.. wad really made in nod endlessly was the reason he gave.
everyone knows nelson kwei isnt exactly someone who can tolerate low choral standards, or even in recent times, less-than-perfect choral standards. but he really said something which ajchoir relates to. and that was the value adding. it is without a doubt that most of us (if not all) come into choir at the very beginning with not much talent and not much background. from that, we are a silver choir, if not even lower, but we were the most hardworking grp. we trained. we perservered and we struggled. and finally we achieved. its a typical cliche example of how hard work exceeds genius. but its happening so dearly to us we really feel the true extent of it. i felt that was rly the case as i was part of the 'untalented' grp.. with no choral nor music backgrounds, but only equipped with the passion and the flame of determination that kwei hopes will continue to burn eternally. he clearly acknowledges the fact that we worked really hard for what we sow today. he knows, understands and so strongly believed in us, and thats all i really wanted to know. call me self-indulgent, but that comfort means so much to me.
today, i saw a great man humbled. he might rly appear to be the formidable and invincible man to some, but today i saw humanity. he did admit that ajchoir gave him so much stress that time and time again he questioned his own ability even after 20 yrs of conducting and a multitude of awards in tow. believe it or not, he lost more than 10kg because of us. and if you were here last yr u wud know wad im toking abt. haha.
there wasnt any singing today at all. it was just that talk. and thats all. simple and neat closure to syf..a chapter of our choral life. we then proceeded to give him the present the choir prepared for him.. cards with personal messages all over and a gigantic lollipop that spans twice of a human head as circumference. wad a moment!
the flame now burns. not only the flame of determination and strength, but the love & passion for ajchoir. no importa la distancia.
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Saturday, May 12, 2007
GOLD! WITH LOTS OF LOVE!
that superficial side of us might be lamenting away. like omg wad in the world!?! *&^%$ hahaha.. but its really okay. because ajchoir is run by love, fuelled by passion. alot of it. so much so i never imagined that if we ever fall short from perfection, we cud actually handle this so well. we have matured. from xiamen to malacca to concert. its been a long journey. another part of us might be damning it to end with a mere gold haha. but we accepted it with grace. i was more than convinced everyone put in their best effort for syf. so thats fine by me. i have been thru 3 syfs in my life. a few other major competitions, and one thing all shud ever rmb is not to leave any room for regrets. and i know i cant find any slight room even if i wanted to. so its fine. besides, what has ajchoir not done before?
then again, thinking about this syf gold leads me to how im gonna lead my 'remaining days' haha. the new exco lineup have been up. sweehao as the pres, jasmine as vp, erin as secretary, gwen as treasurer, hazel as welfare, guowei as publicity and xiaoping as logistics. really happy with it. i mean not much reason to find fault with it anw. music comm are as follows: zhenkai as sc & bass sl, shermaine and cicillia as sop sls, charmaine and zongyi as alto sls, jonathan as tenor sl. so yeah, new beginnings yah. suddenly our concert title makes more relevance and sense than for any other time. its time for us to step down, our amazing 1+ yrs of blood, sweat and tears are coming close to an end. BUT only officially. seriously, i dun think anyone of us wanna leave if not for the devil of books and exams harrassing us. haha.
i love ajchoir and my batch the most. the 2006-07 batch. i wud nvr have imagined life without you guys. its time to let go again, and this feels scarily similar to my drama days ahha. though i really still want to go to pattaya (i shall reserve this issue of debate for another time). on the more depressing side, i have absolutely NOTHING to look forward to! other than the Play! Symphony thingy which im singing with vocal consort, and perhaps a couple of performances. then wads next if i dun get to go pattaya? carolling??? and then they r gonna say there's a limit so snrs cant go?? ahahha... i cant take this! i need the adrenaline rush! as much as our dear choir advocate love and music more than awards and fame, we have gone thru too many competitions to jus simply forget the competitive 'chiongness' we have inside us. ahha. i'll find something to compete for. im sure. haha. perhaps a desperate attempt will be to treat my tests like syf and wcg lol.
the awards this week for aj...CO gt gold, BAND gt silver. congrats to them im sure they worked real hard too. haha syf never fails to do this to us youths eh? anw on another completely random note, i realised certain choirs are getting really disillusioned. oh well. gd luck to them. ahha.
wow now i see the pt in blogging. only reserved for entries worth my time n effort to craft. =)
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