foreword
ぜんかい -- ゼンカイ
no longer yearning. what have we not done before?
"the world is really but the stage - create the most fulfilling play"
If you're a thief, master the art of thievery.
A psychotic mind leaves no room for regrets.
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Zheng Kai
01.11.1989
CHS - AJC
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© Copyrights:
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Chok Zheng Kai, 2008
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Sunday, January 15, 2006
Alternate Reality
i woke up this morning with another jolt. sleeping doesn't exactly seem like a luxury to me these days. dreams, they make u think alot of them once u wake up. its never ending. the possibilities, the consequences, the processes, its basically as good as alternate reality.
for the last few days, i have been dreaming abt things that could well be substituted into real life n we still live with it. i had one on receiving o lvl results, though i saw 2 slips of results and never did make out which was supposed to belong to me. and then one which i was living the past. in de dream, i was actually on my hp, still de one with the blue design, having a conference with doug and some other ppl. it was pretty weird. but i think it shud have happened b4 o lvls. i heard much abt dreams being signs and glimpses of the future, but why in de world am i having backward-dreaming..? weird.
then jus last nite i dreamt of a very calm scene, jus basically a family buying things at ntuc. but, the weird thing is, i gt a different bro! and i treat him so normally like one in de dream. now this is super weird coz normally u dream abt things tt u noe abt.. but this is obviously nt! and if u wanna noe who tt bro is, its thomas. and when i woke up, i found myself asking y did i not feel weird treating anyone else as my blood bro... but they couldnt be answered.
so after a brushed my teeth i went to my bro's rm to check on him! sometimes something may jus make u treasure ur loved ones more.. n perhaps this was one of them, though it came to me in a very weird way. and anywae, im gonna dedicate my next part of my entry to a certain someone, someone whom i respect alot.
to someone:
you have come across to me as an extremely courageous individual. its hard losing such a close family member at ur age, i mean, u r even younger than me. and if i were u, i really wouldn't noe how to handle such things. and yet, you maintained ur 'motor' (pun intended) in life. i really respect and admire u for all tt. you have passed through one of life's most difficult time and managed to emerge victorious claiming happiness that you well-deserved.
i am very touched by your emotional self. you are also an extremely loyal fren whom will never forget those around you. ur memories, though they may be tainted with fear, and uncertainty, but u chose only to emphasize and keep those good ones. so as to use them to propel urself forward in ur life. kudos to u. becoz ppl will be inspired, ppl will find a beacon of light in u that directs them. and by that, u can be considered one of the strongest individual amongst us.
you r nt alone too, one of my good frens in pri 4 also experienced the same loss as u. his was more abrupt, caused by an accident. u too will always be ppl i respect. ppl who dont tumble and trip over their own emotional mess. i salute u too. for me, i had my own experiences in childhood too, when i was very much younger. i almost lost mine too, but in a different manner. it was literally a struggle, but now its over, and we shud all treasure all our loved ones we have for as long as we can hold them dear.
"You can never be truly satisfied and comfortable without you convincing yourself it is."
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