foreword
ぜんかい -- ゼンカイ
no longer yearning. what have we not done before?
"the world is really but the stage - create the most fulfilling play"
If you're a thief, master the art of thievery.
A psychotic mind leaves no room for regrets.
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Zheng Kai
01.11.1989
CHS - AJC
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© Copyrights:
Original layout
Content & Images
Chok Zheng Kai, 2008
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Tuesday, January 02, 2007
people keep complaining my blog is dead.
ahha actually i agree it is dead.
2006 is over. as much as i wud still conveniently forgot and write my dates as 06, but its a fact i cant escape thats its the 2nd of jan today and school is reopening tml.
currently, exactly half of me want to go to sch and start all that hectic life all over again, and the other half party animal of me wanna stay around and laze more, and probably involve myself in more parties. haha, but i guess we all dun have much of a choice.. do we?
had a really interesting dream yesterday. probably something that made me click blogger.com to actually come here to start an entry. i wud call it a nightmare. but it wasnt scary or i didnt feel any extreme emotion of fear in the dream. perhaps this is wad they call that numb and emotionless. it was also one of those dreams tt after i wake up i cud still rmb most of its details.
it all started with my family and some relatives tgth with some choir peeps going to another country. it was obviously a foreign land, some weird place that looked european/western but most of the time inhibited by asians. it was probably supposed to be a holiday but after a while we knew we were there for another darker reason and the hol mood was nvr there to begin with.
then one evening we were all sitting down in an open area dining. many tables were lined up in rows and it was hard to see where each row ended coz of it sheer no of tables. there were alot of random ppl ard us. and somehow i wasnt mixing ard with the choir peeps. i was in fact, sitting next to my auntie who was whispering something into my mum's ear. then about 10 tables down the row, suddenly a few men wearing black blazers stood up and somehow this caught the attention of my mum. the next thing i knew we were all on the run in a van.
the van stopped at this hospital. it was weird coz the hospital's 2nd floor had a tour agency. and the building was almost empty except of the few of us who just reached. somehow the whole journey on the van and dining experience sort of put a rough image of wad is happening into my mind. i have no idea who told me or how i figured out. but wad was at the back of my mind was that someone in our grp had somth got to do with those men in black, and we r escaping them becoz they apparently threatened somth, and wad was to happen frm here on is extremely dangerous.
but somehow i wasnt scared. not the least bit. i wasnt even happy i was there. it was just like stepping into room, nothing happy or to be sad about. i probably wanted to tok to someone and that was when i found out there was no one except a few of my uncles with me. then suddenly, from a corner of the corridor alot of ppl emerged, it was my choir peeps and they were holding down one person, gw. they were moving slowly towards the wall. i looked at gw's face and all it showed was almost nothing. perhaps a tinge of depression and guilt, but he didnt put up ny struggle at all. he jus completely gave in to those holding him down.
then suddenly, heavy footsteps and emerged from the corner, then BANG!! it was damn loud. but i wasnt scared at all. i didnt noe why too. my aunt emerged with a gun, the same one lee young-ae used in the movie sympathy for lady vengence. the next thing i knew gw's body was thrown against the wall and bounced back onto the floor. dead. he was shot straight at the head. and i still wasnt feeling scared of even sad. it was weird. ridiculous and unexplainable.
a few sec later i saw ht crying and aggie consoling her. ht was apparently one of those who helped to hold gw down. i cudnt quite get anything tt was gg on now. i saw my mum and i asked her, "what happened?". she turned to me with a face crunched up like she was the one who shot gw instead, and said, "when we left, they (those men in black) told us that perhaps one of us was...."
at that very instant, i was shook awake by my dad coz it was 1pm and im supposed to be lunching alr.
i ate lunch thinking why gw died, perhaps he was a "spy" for those gangsters? i dunno. its still a mystery.
and.. come to think of it.. i rmb chihong saying somth like my rm will soon turn into a nightmarish room wher i will hav nightmares when i sleep. its sorta true. jus the previous night it was a demented gal holding a sword up my neck. but all these are still a far cry frm those typical nightmares where the dreamer wakes up in sweat suddenly..
funny start to 2007 i guess.
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