Riva del Garda, Italy 2008 Taipei, Taiwan 2006 VoyAJe of Songs: A New Journey Begins (Esplanade, Singapore 2007) VoyAJe of Songs: En Fantasia (SCH, Singapore 2006) Munich, Germany 2004 10th Concorso Corale Internazionale, Grand Prize Winner, (Riva del Garda, Italy 2008)

4th World Choir Games, Olympic Champion (Xiamen, China 2006)

foreword
ぜんかい -- ゼンカイ
no longer yearning. what have we not done before?

"the world is really but the stage - create the most fulfilling play"
If you're a thief, master the art of thievery.
A psychotic mind leaves no room for regrets.


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Zheng Kai
01.11.1989
CHS - AJC
RevoAct
AJChoir
1st Tenor


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Chok Zheng Kai, 2008

Monday, May 26, 2008

It is nearing the end of May, and the welcoming of June. That is scary, scarily fast. Post-JC life felt like it just crept in slowly and I'm probably still at the early stages of getting used to it. That was the last I remembered of myself feeling and being aware. Now I'm in NS, those BMT peeps are POP-ing in a matter of days, and I'm about to get my 2nd month NS pay.

Why are things going so fast? Somehow, I looked back and still could recall those days in JC and in choir in great detail like they just happened yesterday. However, in the process, it does slowly dawn on me that many things (and when I mean many, IT IS REALLY ALOT) have actually happened for the past 5 months. I got a nice job with nice colleagues, worked for almost 4 months, saw my bank account in constant 4-digits, flew to Italy and back, got thrown into the forests of Tekong bald, got accepted into NUS Law Faculty, and now having an 8-5 Auxillary Staff job at Ayer Rajah.

If this wasn't eventful, I wonder what is.

Point being, where was I this whole 5 months? Were I even around? It would have been laughable to describe this as a out-of-body experience but somehow that feeling still lingers. I am able to feel happiness, sadness, love and hate. But I found myself losing something important, perhaps a purpose, a goal. Thinking back at what Shoshi said back then about having a purpose, my ideals are now blurred. What is it that I really want?

Even this post seems to go no where. That is true. From now on, I am on a journey to find myself. To find back that me that I always were. As cliche and as cheesy as that may sound, it brings back things to look forward to, friends I really want to be with, things I really want to do, and a heart that belongs.

Everyone lead very different lives with even more different short-term goals. Perhaps sometimes it would be right to just transcend all these and go back to the very beginning - what made you happy, and what will?

As such, my first step - taking leave for the whole of next week till the following monday when my TP test is over - to revisit the past to find my future.